anabeecakes's Xanga

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:38:24 GMT

[bitter-]sweet home chicago.
three months isn't enough time for me to forget how you really are. i missed you old city and all the great things we've shared, but i've come back too soon that i thought i could stand your bitter coldness and fight those blues. don't be mad at me for leaving you for another, but 20 years should suffice of your blustery winds. i shall be content with appreciating you from afar. chicago, or should i say shikaakwa, you're pretty and all but you can really stink.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:49:47 GMT

matthew turned 16 on thursday.
today were celebrating with a costume party ;P

i remember 10 years ago, he also had a costume party. i decided to wear my costume since i was volunteering at the local park "haunted trails" so as to practice my "acting skills" and scare the kids.
i dressed up as a witch and painted my face all white with black circles around my eyes.
i walked around following and staring at people and getting really close to their face. they were getting pretty uncomfortable. i got a kick out of that. this one kid, who i always here stories about being bad, was being a typical annoying 6 year old boy. i decided to follow him around and stare at him most of the time, til he got so scared he started crying and went home. his parents came over shortly.

today i'm going to attempt to paint my face like one of these dia de los muertos skulls.
i hope sofia doesn't get scared of me.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:10:53 GMT

yeah i don't post as much as i used to. it's because of twitter! and also tumblr which has made it easy to just reblog. i know that's cheating. i don't intend on abandoning you though. sometime in the near future i intend to have a real post.

http://trinketsoflove.tumblr.com/

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:50:31 GMT

i don't know what it is, but chicago depresses me. i really did miss this city though, it's pristine and it always makes me feel brand new. i think i will take sofia on the el tomorrow and visit all the nooks i used to tuck myself into. and maybe i'll go for a bike ride in the morning.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:16:03 GMT

oh darn it. i screwed something up. uggh
i miss writing on here. i havent written anything in a looooooooooongg time.
im exhausted.

moments

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:39:22 GMT

mantra

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 03:13:26 GMT

i need one or rather a few.
this seems good enough for the moment:

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don't
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it.

a zen moment

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 13:18:36 GMT

Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world - (song is Please don't go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

a pause.

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 03:02:56 GMT

lately all the news i've been hearing from home are of death. my grandmother in the philippines, lola ines, died last week. she was 92. no known illnesses. she fell, broke a bone & never healed. i wish i had known her better. i wish i had gone back to the philippines more often, wrote to her, called her and listen to her tell stories about her youth and my father's...

i admit it's too easy to get caught up with our own lives that we forget about everyone else.. until we get a phone call informing us that a particular person is no longer with us. and only then do we stop in the midst of our busy lives to think about this person, who they were and who they were to us.

i don't ever mean to forget that life is short and all those other cliches. there is always this looming thought that someday i will have to deal with death in my immediate family and close friends. it used to scare me so much that i'd cry as if this one person had already died.. i know, i'm kind of morbid in that way. i sort of built my life around that thought growing up and, i think, in a way it has made me into a more appreciative person (bordering on crazy). appreciative in a sense that i wanted to believe that there is special meaning into every thing i did and everything people did for me. i found it was a difficult task because there is always the risk of looking like a fool especially when others doesn't seem to understand my efforts or reciprocate them. this is probably the reason why i've become so cynical.

ultimately though, i believe its given me an outlook in life that is more appreciative of everyone and everything around me. i try not to take things for granted and in turn, even the most subtle things can have the deepest meaning.

bits of our weekend

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:17:30 GMT

& we were evergreen